


Nothing's Gonna Change My World

by gwendystacy



Category: Real Person Fiction, stonefield - Fandom
Genre: Break Up, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Lovers to Friends, stonefield - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 09:37:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5702971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwendystacy/pseuds/gwendystacy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“A supernova is the biggest explosion you can imagine, the brilliant, dying gasp of a star that is at least five times more massive than our Sun.”</p><p>Or: the one where Emma and Andrew agree to spend their last week together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing's Gonna Change My World

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a thank you for Ilana (aka stonefieldofdreams aka emmaandandrewarethesun) for her dedication to the Stonefield fandom over the years.
> 
> Rip in the peace stonefield. You will be missed.
> 
> *This work is not in purposely chronological order, but I would like to apologize for any faults within individual sections.

"This is it." Andrew nods, suitcase parked at his foot. The gate to his plane is only yards away, and he only has minutes- if not seconds left.

"Yeah." She smiles sadly. She feels her chest tightening and suddenly can't breathe. She's had bits of anxiety over the past few years, mainly because of the paparazzi, but not a full on attack.

"Emily?" He asks, suddenly aware of what's happening.

"Go." She says simply, knowing this may last awhile and that he doesn't have time to wait it out.

"What're you anxious about?" He pushes her hair out of her face.

"You're going to miss your plane."

"Tell me what it is."

"What's going to happen? Between us? Where does this leave me?" She admits, feeling guilty for having thrown her problems onto him.

"I don't know what's going to happen with us." He smiles at her. "But you will be brilliant- you always are."  
...

Everything was so natural. They met at the perfect time, with the perfect opportunity in front of them. They had a promise of a franchise and endless time to spend together, what more could they ask for?

They didn’t start dating immediately, no not at first. There was their management and other significant others to worry about. They both settle for soft touches on the shoulder and smiles that are too friendly. They fell in love off screen before they did on. 

Management and PR continuously shut down the mutual attraction. The promise of a franchise is threatened by the possibility of a break up but that doesn’t stop either one of them. They both end their relationships on the same day and proceed to ignore the warnings- stars are formed by the death of other stars.

Emma remembers feeling so lucky, and so happy. 

Andrew remembers feeling like he is "diving into a thrilling, twisting river and never holding on to the sides." 

…

Before Andrew leaves for Taiwan they know something has changed. Neither one can pin point exactly what it is, but somethings gone. It happened somewhere in between 99 Homes and Cabaret.. Maybe it happened before that.. Who can really tell?

It’s not like they’re broken up, not yet. He comes to see her several times, but she always feels so childish performing on Broadway in front of him. He’s just finished filming about families losing their homes, and what has she done? Filmed a movie about pretending to clairvoyant? She brings it up to him during their first fight since he got back. Well, fight may be a strong word. Neither one is truly angry. Andrew probably thinks it was just a serious conversation. 

Andrew, who is always so sweet, reminds her that everything they do doesn’t have to be a grand piece of art. “You had fun filming it, didn’t you?” And she nods. “Plus, you were just nominated for an Oscar, how much more serious can it get?”

Andrew thinks she’s brilliant. She’d been worried because of her voice, but he knew she could do it. He always knew she could do it. The audience loves her. The critics love her. Of course they do. 

Everyone loves Emma, but no one does more than Andrew.

...

It’s a long flight, to Taiwan. He keeps thinking about the indifference he felt- they both felt- when he was boarding his plane. He should have been sad to leave her, but all he can think about is how long his flight is. How far away from his family he’s been, and will continue to be. Andrew’s an adult but he still misses his mom and his dad.

He misses Emma, but not the Emma he left in LAX. He misses holding up signs in front of the paparazzi and “happy fucking birthday” t-shirts. It’s a feeling he can only place as nostalgia but it feels much realer than that. She hasn’t changed, not that much, and neither has he. They’re the same individuals they were 4 years ago but a different couple.

…

After TASM 2 promo, they go back to their separate worlds. Andrew’s still not over it, especially how great Emma looked in that pink dress. He wishes he could be the only person who could have seen her that night, but then he thinks about how selfish that is. Everyone should know exactly how breath taking she is.

Plus, there are lots of times she looks stunning that he gets to keep to himself. Like when she brushes her hair, or when she’s playing with Ren, and his personal favorite: when she’s about to fall asleep, but is fighting it to finish another episode.

…

He’s serious again. When they’d first met it’d taken weeks for her to crack him even a little bit. By the time they were doing promo he was giggling and making horrible, absolutely pathetic attempts at jokes, but they always made her laugh. 

She stays at her brothers while Andrew’s gone. She can’t stay in their house, in their bed. Sometimes once things become “ours” they never go back to “mine.”

…

He wants to have kids, start a family. He never says it out loud, but she knows. When he comes back from filming 99 Homes all he can talk about is how great of a kid Noah was, and how much he misses him. How much he misses acting like a father.

There’s no doubt in her mind about it. If Andrew would say it out loud she would be more than happy to flush the 16 pills that remain in their blister packets down the toilet and cancel all of her films for 2016. If only he would just say it out loud. Most of her childhood friends have two or three children by now.

She starts to tease him about it, showing him articles speculating on her non-existent baby bump. He laughs and tells her she’s beautiful and not to worry about what tabloids say. She’ll laugh back and jokingly say something like “maybe it is a baby bump” then pat her stomach. She just wants to hear him say it to her. He’ll say it to his brother, to his mom, and to random interviewers, but not to her.

He wants to have kids, but not her kids. That’s how she feels about it anyway. 

…

“Let’s go together.” She laughs, thinking he’s joking. “No! Seriously! It’ll be our first public appearance!” Flops down on to the sofa next to her, exhausted. He’s only two days into his week of hosting Saturday Night Live and he’s ready to sleep for a month straight.

“Really?” She asks, not believing him. They’d both agreed to keep their relationship private, never publicly confirming it.

“Yeah.” He nods. “I mean- if you want.”

“Do you think it’s a good idea?” She smiles. “I mean- do you even have a suit? It’s kinda last minute.

“I don’t think anything could go wrong.” He shrugs. “Plus after what they have planned for us this week the Met Gala will seem like a walk in the park.”

“What do they have planned for us?” Emma asks, lifting his arm and placing herself beneath it.

“You’ll see tomorrow.”

…

They normally Skype, Facetime, and text nonstop when they’re apart. They text often and Facetime a few, and Emma know’s he’s busy but it still feels shitty. Taiwan may be on the other side of the world, but Andrew feels much further away. 

The remains of their relationship are exploding across the universe into various tabloids and text messages from friends asking if they’re okay. They are a supernova, out shining every star, on display for everyone to see.

She goes back to their house a day before he comes back to straighten up. He knows that she’s been staying with Spencer, but she wants it to look like she’s at least came to check up on the place. She sets out some new newspapers and magazines, and stocks the kitchen with his favorite food.

Everything’s so unchartered. How is she supposed to act when she sees him? Are they still dating? 

They definitely aren’t still dating, she decides when she sees him for the first time. They hug quickly, pick up the luggage, then get in the car all in an uncomfortable silence. He’s so sleepy that he almost falls asleep in the car. When they get back to the house he goes straight to bed and motions for her to join him. 

“I’m not tired.” She shakes her head, closing the curtains. He halfway smiles to her. It’s sad though. He looks down and nods before laying back into the pillows. She doesn’t stay around to watch him fall asleep, instead she goes to the kitchen. She makes a chicken parmigiana, which she knows is his favorite thing she makes. She chuckles a little bit thinking about how Andrew prefers his own cooking over anyone else’s, well except his mothers.

She’s finishing up when he wakes up and finds her putting pans into the sink. He quickly wraps his arms around her waist, but it’s uncomfortable for both of them. They notice it right away, but it would be more uncomfortable to part, so they just kind of stay there, quietly.

“You made dinner.” He comments after a few moments of pure torture.

…

She does the interview with the Wall Street Journal a few days after the whole “name on bag” fiasco.

She cant help but, with just the hint of a smile on her face, say “It’s so special to me that it never feels good to talk about, so I just continually don’t talk about it.”

Because it is so special to her, and it doesn’t matter that it feels like it’s ending. There’s nothing that can undo the last four and a half years of their lives, and if there was she wouldn’t take it. She knows Andrew wouldn’t either.

…

“Em.” She pulls the blankets closer to her. “Emily.”

“Hm?” She peaks out of one eye.

“Wanna go get breakfast?” He asks, shifting places.

“What time is it?”

“Um..” She hears him searching for his phone. “5:30. Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She knows it’s night time to his body. “I doubt anywhere’s open, but we can go later.”

“Okay.”

“There’s some food in the kitchen- cereal, yogurt-” She yawns. “Why don’t you get something and we can watch tv.”

“Okay, yeah- sorry.” He says quickly and leaves. He returns with a banana and a yogurt cup and hops onto the bed. She reaches over him and grabs the remote, turning it on some silly morning show. She doesn’t make it back to he original position, opting to lay her head on his chest as he eats. She feels him try to make slower movements as if to not disturber her. It doesn’t feel anything like last night did.

Maybe it’s the early morning for her - that place in between sleep and awake- but it feels natural again. Maybe it's the jet lag for him- absolute exhaustion while feeling paranoid and awake. She did miss him.She missed him so fucking much. She missed his stupid jokes and the way he always smells like soap with a hint of fresh fruit. She even missed his long hair even though she’d wished he’d cut it while he was growing it. 

“Your hair looks nice.” She mumbles, nuzzling her face into his sweatshirt.

“Thank you.” He sets down the yogurt cup and replaces its place in his hands with her hair. “Your everything looks nice.”

“My everything?” She laughs.

“Yeah.” She can feel him laughing. “You look beautiful, Emily. You always do.” He pushes a strand of hair behind her hair and rubs his thumb across her cheek down to her chin. 

Something about that drives her crazy, and then she’s trying to pull herself as close to him as she can. Her returns it by wrapping his free arm around her, pulling her in. 

They end up waking up a bit late for breakfast, and settle for brunch. That awkward silence from the night before is back, and it makes Andrew feel empty inside. They make it to the cafe and order with out breaking it. Andrew eats his eggs while Emma picks at her pancakes.

“It’s not working, is it?” She asks, breaking the silence.

“It’s not.” He agrees. She sighs, and sets down her fork.

“What happened to us?”

“We changed.” He smiles sadly. They sit quietly for a moment as the waitress fills up there waters. “I still love you.” He says after she walks away. “I always will.”

“I love you too.” She bites her lip. “I guess I’ll stay with Spence again for a while.”

“What?”

“I just thought you’d like some time alone.”

“No!” He almost shouts. “I mean- God no, Em. Stay.” He goes to grab her hand but stops midway. “Let’s spend the rest of our time together, yeah?” 

Andrew feels like he’s begging, but he can’t imagine anything worse than this being how they end things. Awkward and lonely. He wants them to end as beautifully as they started. As perfectly as they started.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He nods. "I've misses you too much to just.. To just not see you."

…

Emma still often reflects on when Andrew found out the films were over. He tried to act like it didn't bother him, he "always wanted to work on some more serious work." 

He does a horrible job. She can tell he's deeply troubled by it, and it brings back bits of low self-esteem that he'd been working for years to get rid of. He takes it personally and there's nothing she can do to fix that. No amount of critics praising him and blaming various other aspects of the film will make him feel like he isn't the blame. 

So she stops talking to him about it. 

...

They still share a bed afterwards. They don’t cuddle like the used to, but they still watch movies and share a popcorn bowl between them. They don't touch except on accident. It’s lonely, but neither one can imagine going through it alone. Most people talk to their best friends when they go through a break up, but what if you’re breaking up with your best friend? 

It's like the last slumber party you have with your childhood friend before you both move away for college. It's happy and refreshing and bittersweet all at the same time.

They go to the movies, and to get ice cream like they've always done. 

…

"How's Ren?" Andrew asks, almost asleep in the hotel room he's been living in.

"Mom says she's doing well. They're thinking about getting a puppy. Y'know, to keep her company."

"That's good." He nods. She watches him close his eyes for a moment before he jumps awake.

"You should get some sleep." She smiles at him and rolls over so the phone makes it appear like he's beside her.

"Wanna talk." He mumbles.

"You're tired."

"Miss you more." He pushes himself up onto one arm. "See I'm awake."

"Barely." She smirks. "You're going to fall asleep and I'm not going to be able to say bye."

"Well keep me up." He wiggles his eyebrows as hers raise and she rolls her eyes.

"Keep you up?" She smirks. "How?"

"Surprise me."

"Okay. Hold on-" She sets down the phone and returns holding her scrapbook materials. "You can help me scrapbook!"

"Oh god- I'll just go to sleep." He laughs, placing his head in his hands.

"I'm just kidding." She teases him. "You and I both know I will never actually scrapbook. I just like to think that maybe someday I will." She throws the unopened book on the floor.

... 

Emma walks in on him packing what little he had unpacked. She sits on the bed while he folds tee shirts and sweatpants. He pretends not to see her watching him, but Andrew knows she's there. He knows what's about to come and knows it will only make it more difficult.

"Don't go." She lets out in a raspy whisper. Heartbroken.

"I have to." He doesn't look up at her. He honestly doesn't know what will happen if he does. She stares back at him, unsure of how to make it better. She looks at his face- his too thin face- it's been that way since before he left for Taiwan. It's trembling slightly. Andrew looks up, but not at her, long enough to wipe a stray tear from falling, then back down. Her heart swells for a moment, and she has an overwhelming need to comfort him. He's never been very good at pretending to be "too manly" to cry. He always let himself express what he's feeling, something she struggles with, and she loved that about him.

...

He takes her out to dinner one last time. It's a date, but not really. They look like a couple but don't act like one. His motivations are purely selfish, and he knows it will only make things worse. He can't help but wonder how much worse things can get.

He wants to see her dressed up again, just one last time. And she doesn't disappoint, but when has she ever? He drives to dinner and Emma tries to act like his driving doesn't terrify. It's been so long since he's drove somewhere that she's just thankful they make it to the restaurant alive. 

They're seated somewhere off to the side, secluded from everyone else. They both think the waitstaff must think they are the most unromantic couple that ever existed. They get along well in the privacy of their own home but in public, on a date-like setting, it's different. Normally someone would hold the others hand and they would laugh quietly, but this time there is just silence and arms locked straight down their sides. Emma clears her throat after taking a sip from her wine glass.

"I watched some of your interviews- while you were gone."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She nods. Andrew's been getting more and more political and active since 99 Homes. They've both been charitable, but there's something different about him. She recognizes it as struggling and wants to help, but doesn't know how. He's trying to come to terms with the unfairness of the world, and the cruelty of it. She wants so badly to find some way to tell him not to carry weight of the world on his shoulders- he can't fix everything.  
../

She hears some rumors that they had broken up. She doesn’t confirm or deny it to even her publicist because she just can't bring herself to include anyone else in their lives. Her family doesn't even know, but she knows Spencer has a strong feeling that somethings wrong. 

They get caught by the paparazzi at a gas station a few days days before Andrew leaves. They’re taking a trip up to Yosemite for the evening. They meant to do this years ago and decide “better late than never.” Emma laughed sadly to herself when she said it out loud to him two nights ago because never suddenly feels real. 

Andrew agrees quickly with her that they should go. They sit down that night on the couch with his macbook in his lap and look for hotels. Neither one can bring themselves to speak up on whether they should get one or two rooms. Somehow, when it’s all said and done, they end up with two next to each other.

The second room, Andrew’s room, goes to waste. They break their unspoken no touching rule over a slice of red velvet cake (Andrew makes fun of her for ordering dessert through room service instead of at dinner like he told her to) and a bottle of Chalone Monterey. He knows he isn’t supposed to kiss her but _fuck it._ They’re young (well Emma is, the dull pain in his back reminds him him that his 32nd birthday is coming up soon), they’re a little bit drunk, and they’ve spent the last five years of their lives in love. 

Plus, he genuinely can’t stop himself. He knows he isn’t going to be in Australia that long. But how long will it be before he get’s to hear Emma giggle in between soft kisses that never last that long? Will he ever hear it again? Something makes his stomach twist and feel hollow. 

He wakes up the next morning, thankfully not hungover, with his head on her chest. He moves slightly, but she pulls him tighter.

They go hiking that day and stay mostly silent. It’s comforting though, that they can still walk in silence and feel at peace with the world. After an hour or so they take a break and sit down at a spot over looking Glacier Point. She leans her head onto his shoulder. He looks down at her, then returns the gesture by wrapping an arm around her and pulling her in deeper.

Neither one knows what will happen today, or tomorrow, or even next year. They don't know how hard it actually will be to separate at the airport. They just know that right now feels right.

They might not be a star anymore, but their lives are always going to be tangled. They’ve formed complex webs that can’t be sepereated. They are catastrophically exploding, and it is beautiful but it is violent and it shakes the world around them. They are slowly forming into a nebula that can either pull itself back together after time, or will separate separate further into space with only the hopes that they will create another star with someone else someday.

Sometimes when things become “ours” they never go back to being “mine.”


End file.
